Humor

Want Ad: Pet.

Must be a mammal that is able to meet me at the door…or somewhere around the apartment, therefore, likely a dog or a cat, but perhaps a rabbit would do, too. Hypo-allergenic, as furry animals are all in the realm of “things trying to kill me.” Not fussed on color, but very fussed on temperament; I already date enough women that tend to claw at me, emotionally and/or physically, do not require it in a pet. Some potty training required, but recognize that complete potty training may be a myth from the Interwebs. Animals never flush. I will provide all sorts of toys. Opposable thumbs not necessary.

Willing to pay $$$; not willing to sell my soul to Cthulhu. (Therefore, if there is an extensive owner interview, I am not down for that, because it’s just a bit much). Will care for pet with all my heart and make sure it eats organic…ish. Me casa es su casa. Must love humans; this one in particular.