Discovering normal

Normal isn’t real.

It’s a word we use when we really want to say:

  • Following the herd
  • Going along to get along
  • Not being the nail that sticks up (so you won’t be hammered down)
  • Fitting in
  • Being one of the guys / gals

Normal feels nice. Normal feels safe. Normal feels like not rocking the boat, not expecting too much, not breaking outside of the “norm” – just… being okay.

Normal sucks because the common usage of normal is a total cop-out, it is a way of not trying too hard because you’re afraid of failing; it’s a way of limiting yourself because you don’t want “to make a fool” of yourself; it is about shame and guilt and fear.

Normal blows.

So, let’s re-define it.

For me, normal means:

  • Just being myself and not comparing that to anyone else
  • Being honest about what I want and don’t want, about what I like and what I don’t like
  • Laughing when I find something funny
  • Not laughing when I don’t
  • Being okay with not being one of the guys / gals
  • Being okay with sticking up because I don’t mind a little challenge
  • Not fitting in because fitting in means chopping off the parts of me that are unique and that totally disagrees with “just being myself”

That, to me, is normal. It is not about adhering to norms which are set by whom: celebrities, the media, my high school friends, my parents, the community I’m from even though it’s not the community I would choose? No, being normal is just learning to accept, like, love, and value myself as who I am.

That’s normal. And if it’s not normal to you, then change your normal, because why would you ever want to live your life in some random’s shoes?

Doesn’t sound like much fun to me. I don’t recommend it.

Be you. I think that’s a much better deal. 

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