Essays

We all put our pants on one leg at a time

It sucks being an ascended being. We all know that person who walks around high on life, without a care in the world, sort of like the Disney princess singing in the forest and all the birds answer–

Yes, her. Or him, that man-bun wearing yogini who is just “above it all.” 

  1. I hate that person.
  2. I most especially hate that person when I’m being that person.

Full stop: I do live everyday with gratitude and joy and happiness. The changes I’ve made recently have been phenomenal and I love my life.

Also, truth: some days have way less gratitude than others. Some days I’m burnt out as (your pejorative of choice). And, and! to top it all off, some days I wish I was back in the funk I lived in before. Why?

Because then I didn’t have to be all well behaved and “healthy.” Some days I deeply dislike being “an inspiration.” In the old days, I would drink as much scotch as I liked, mindlessly and relentlessly order as much clothing and crap that I wanted online, and go off speeding into the night in my car like it was the last 10 minutes of a Fast and the Furious movie.

I miss speeding, I do! I miss all of it sometimes! That may sound terrible, but there was a sense of freedom that came from sort of living on the edge.

(I never really lived on, on the edge, but I had my ways)

Some days I miss that bit of edge and when I start missing it a lot, then I know I’ve probably been living too far up in the clouds with all the other drama-free and most certainly semi-fake ascended beings.

That’s the sign for me. It tells me it is time for me to come back down to earth with everybody else. While it is not a good idea to indulge too deeply in my whimsy and Ms. Hyde-ness, I need to remember to give myself the space to screw up, be ridiculous, slap on a temporary tattoo from the neighborhood saloon, and yes–

To put on my oversized UT Longhorn orange sweatpants, one leg at a time.

(And to enjoy my scotch, because it’s good, real good)

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